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I dont wear thin-strapped dresses for church (like this), since they feel more revealing than Im comfortable with, but I dont think its necessarily inappropriate given the casual nature of our church

Consider a pocket square in a muted paisley pattern, casually stuffed into the breast pocket for an air of sprezzatura

I'm usually a 3x and my daughter is usually a Large

In the 1922 edition of Emily Posts Etiquette Guide, she notes that the tuxedo is worn every evening and nearly everywhere, whereas the tailcoat is necessarily only balls, formal dinners, and in a box at the Opera
